Having good self-confidence impacts every aspect of our lives, not just our career. Having high self-regard saves us time, making us more productive and increasing our feelings of well-being. So let’s not delay a minute further. Here are things you can start implementing today to help you feel more self-confident and self-assured.
Create Strong Boundaries for Improved Self-Confidence
If you have someone in your life that makes you feel bad, insecure, unsure or unsafe, you need to set a boundary. Boundaries are the rules for engagement we establish with others. Boundaries protect us. A boundary can mean that you limit conversations with people that make you feel unsafe. It can also be that you don’t go out to lunch with certain individuals or avoid situations that never prove fruitful. Boundaries are a gift you give yourself.
Establishing and maintaining boundaries not only makes us feel safe, but as we stand for ourselves we feel better about who we are. It sends a message that you care enough about yourself to take care of yourself. Creating and keeping boundaries will increase your self-esteem because you feel better as you value your needs and feelings.
Keep Some For Yourself
People with low self-esteem often look to others to replace what is missing inside. In this process of looking to others, we begin to diminish ourselves. I can remember as a young child trying very hard to get the neighborhood kids to like me. I made myself extremely vulnerable trying to do anything and everything to make them laugh and to like me. My self-esteem was in the hands of someone else. I measured my worth by my popularity score. Today, I recognize that my need to please people must take a back seat to my need to care for myself. The urge to give of myself, my time and energy comes at a cost to my self-esteem. When I hold back a little, I feel better.
Treat Yourself As Good As Your Children
Many of us will only feed our kids the best food, take them on the best vacations, make sure they are hanging around the right kids, but we don’t treat ourselves that way. We put ourselves last in line. What if we held ourselves with the same regard and care that we did our kids? We make sure we get enough healthy food to eat, rest, recreation, learning and fun. When we get our feelings hurt, we would be patient with ourselves, loving and tender; not critical or harsh. There is a child inside of you who is waiting to be loved in nurtured. Start nurturing that child today.
Stay Centered Throughout the Day
Keeping your center throughout the day by reading devotionals, taking walks, unplugging, breathing- will help support a high self-concept. The day can tug at us a million ways and before we know it we are in reactive mode. By stopping and centering, we re-engage with our best selves and prepare to be responsive and calm. We avoid getting strung out and engaging in reactions that fuel feelings of low self-confidence. Have times throughout the day where you stop and center. For instance, I will not pull out of the driveway without pausing and connecting back to myself. It’s made a world of difference in my day and my driving too!
Fully Show Up in the World
This means taking the extra 15 minutes to look and feel good. Showing up looking your best will always help you to put your best foot forward. Making it a habit to spend some time with your appearance will boost your confidence much more than dashing out the door in your sweat pants. Fully showing up also means getting on top of your day through centering yourself, thinking through what might come your way and getting in charge of your emotions. Take time to prepare, plan and put your best face forward. You may think you don’t have the time, but I assure you, you will get that time back in the form of better interactions and productivity.
Talk Back To Your Bad Thoughts
Throughout the day, your mind is continually blasting you with thoughts. Any thought that doesn’t support you needs to be challenged. Combat negative thinking with a rational, supportive voice. When you hear yourself say things like, “I can’t believe you just said that!” You can reply with, “Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say, but that was what came out. I’m not perfect and I’m not going to beat myself up over this one.” Phew! What a relief to not have to always listen to that Judge in your head who is not your friend. Listen to what the voice in your head is saying to you. Then talk back to it in an calm but firm manner. You’ll be amazed at how transformative this can be.
Believe in Something Greater Than Yourself
This one is often tough for people to grasp. Most people think, “If I am really self-confident, I won’t need to rely on anything but myself”. The opposite is actually true. By believing in something greater than ourselves, we relax and know that we aren’t the ultimate authority. We cease looking to others for approval and instead reach to a higher power for guidance. We stop feeling like we are in control of everything. We stop thinking we need to have all the answers. We cultivate humility which allows us to feel more confident. Kind of an oxymoron, but it works!
For help with your self-confidence at work, call us at Careerfulness. We help people put the happy back in work!